My best friend Jess and I had our babies six weeks apart.

We did everything together. Same antenatal class. Same baby groups. Same weaning approach. Same everything.

So when she mentioned she was going to start potty training at 12 months, I thought she was mad. I smiled and said "good luck with that."

I waited until my son was 2.5, like everyone said to. I bought the sticker charts. I did the reward system. I read the books.

Jess's daughter was fully trained at 14 months.

My son was still having daily accidents at 2 years and 4 months.

When I finally asked Jess what she'd done differently, her answer was so simple I actually laughed.

Then I felt sick about the year I'd wasted.

We both decided to start in the same month. Same potty. Same routine. I even texted her on day one: "Day 1. He sat on it twice. Didn't go. But progress!"

Her reply: "Day 1. She went twice! She seemed surprised but she got it."

I thought her daughter was just one of those kids. Some kids are faster. I'd read that.

Week two. I texted: "Still 6-8 accidents a day. He says he doesn't need to go and then goes two minutes later."

Her reply: "She's basically got it. Maybe one accident a day now."

I stopped texting her updates after that.

Month two. We met at the park. Her daughter ran up and said "Mummy, potty." They walked off together. Done.

My son had two accidents while we were there.

I watched Jess's face. She was trying so hard not to look surprised.

I'd tried everything. The naked method. Timers every 20 minutes. Bribing with chocolate. Nothing worked consistently.

Month seven, I called Jess. I just asked her outright: "What did you actually do?"

She said: "I used training pants from day one. Not diapers. Not regular underwear. Training pants."

I said: "That's it?"

She said: "That's it."

She'd read about it when her daughter was about 10 months old. A paediatric therapist explaining why disposables and diapers make training harder — not easier.

The logic: children learn through feedback. Wet = uncomfortable = I should use the potty. But modern disposables absorb so fast the skin stays dry. The child never feels anything. There's nothing to learn from.

Regular underwear gives the feedback — but creates huge puddles everywhere. The mess creates stress. Stress makes children shut down.

Training pants give the feedback without the mess. The child feels wet. The floor stays dry.

That's the whole thing. That's all it is.

Jess had used UpAiry Feel & Learn Training Pants from day one. She'd found them when her daughter was 10 months old.

I ordered the same ones. They're what made the difference.

The inner layer stays wet against the skin — just enough to send the signal. The outer layer locks it in so there's no puddle, no mess, no stress.

They look and feel like real underwear. Soft cotton. No tags. No seams. Toddlers don't fight them.

And they work because they're not trying to prevent accidents. They're trying to teach from them.

If Jess had sent me the link when her daughter was 14 months, I would have saved a year. She did send it, actually. I ignored it. I thought "we don't need those."

I think about that a lot.

If you're struggling and you've tried everything, check what they're wearing.

If it's disposables or diapers, that might be the whole answer.

I know how that sounds. I thought the same thing. But the logic is real — and the results were real.

Three weeks after switching, my son was trained. Ten months of diapers had done nothing. Three weeks of training pants did everything.

I wish someone had told me sooner. Hopefully this does.